


Mailman

by nex_et_nox



Series: ad hominem [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels, Crack, Gen, Heaven, brief cameo by Mother Mary and unborn baby Jesus - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-07
Updated: 2013-02-07
Packaged: 2017-11-28 12:05:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/674212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nex_et_nox/pseuds/nex_et_nox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>aka Don't Shoot the Messenger. The <em>real</em> reason why Gabriel left Heaven.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mailman

All things considered, Gabriel figured that Mary took the news that she was suddenly pregnant pretty well. She shrieked and threw a clay pot at his head, but at least she calmed down eventually and didn’t freak out too much after that.

“How did it go?” Michael asked when he returned to Heaven.

“She took it well,” Gabriel said. “…Relatively.”

Michael nodded, a slight smirk on his (metaphysical) lips. “Indeed. You might want to get that bump on your head looked at. I think I see a few clay shards,” he said helpfully before taking flight.

Gabriel sent a dirty look in his brother’s general direction but went to find Raphael.

 

The next time he had to deliver a message, he tried to make sure that there weren’t any pots around – or at least be aware of them, so that he could duck if need be.  


It didn’t stop him from getting soaked when the recipient’s servant dumped a basket of water over his head.

 

Gabriel appeared in some sort of a training field and opened his mouth to deliver the short missive his Father had scrawled on a piece of parchment and shoved into his hands.

What came out was something along the lines of, “I have come to deliver a message unto you from – _wait don’t throw that spear at me you moron!_ ”

 

“Shut up,” Gabriel muttered, his eyes narrowing as he twisted in discomfort.

“I didn’t say anything,” Raphael returned blithely, running gentle hands down one of Gabriel’s wings. “All right, brace yourself. On the count of three. One—”

Raphael yanked the arrow shaft from his wing. Gabriel burst up, his Grace flaring in surprised pain. Raphael forced him back down and laid his hands over the injury, pushing healing Grace into it.

“You really should be more careful,” the Healer said.

“I’m plenty careful,” Gabriel replied stiffly. “Humans just don’t understand the correct response to a message – namely, that they are not supposed to react with violence.”

Raphael hummed slightly. It sounded vaguely amused.

Gabriel scowled.

 

“I detest whichever human came up with the idea of slingshots,” Gabriel grumbled, rubbing the sore spots on his wings where they had been pelted by small stones on his most recent misadventure.

 

Gabriel sat at the edge of Heaven, quietly seeking Revelation. No news or messages from his Father were forthcoming, so he opened his eyes briefly before shutting them again and peering into the future, first looking at the near present and then going further.

Seconds later his eyes popped open again.

 _Sorry Dad, but screw being the Messenger_ , the archangel decided. _No way am I sticking around to have to deal with gun-toting maniacs._


End file.
